Bravo! "Women are the backbone of many societies". I'm here in Vietnam and have noticed these open air Cafe looking places -but they're only for men. Sitting around, on their phones drinking coffee and smoking, all times of day and night. They're everywhere. Walk through the neighborhoods and you'll see women doing laundry, playing with kids, sweeping their porches... So I asked about this thing, what I'm now calling the men's club lazy cafes, to some locals and expats. And the response was, Yep. Men sit around and the women do all the work. I'm going to keep asking what the women think about it, maybe it's how it's always been? Witness be great to see a woman barge in the club and pull the man out because he didn't do his chores? 🤣😂🤣
I'm saddened by what you say you see in Vietnam, saddened but not surprised. In most traditional societies, men get to hang out while women are tasked with most if not all domestic chores... Ugh, we have a long way to go.
In some West African cultures, post menopausal women are put on a pedestal and considered to have unique power in the community because of their focus and wisdom, having been removed from responsibilities of raising children and other burdens of early life. "Far from being socially discarded following the end of their reproductive days, postmenopausal women occupied exclusive and significant roles in all spheres of West African life – social, political, religious and ritual."
That's so interesting. In truth, many (if not most) ancient tradition celebrate women. Only more recent monotheist religions pushed it aside and put man at the center of everything. I've always been curious about how the switch came to be (and regret it ever did!).
A lot of it has to do with religion. If you study the original scriptures for the major religions you will see that they are either neutral on women and may give women a special hierarchical position. However, as time went on it was men who started interpreting and documenting the scriptures in their own image giving the male gender an exaggerated position and power in the community. Some era's were more damning than others on the role of women in the family and society. So drip, drip, drip, the marginalizing of women was perpetuated, and for some reason, accepted. I'm not sure how one could consider the human that is responsible for raising the next generation of men and woman and enabling men's success as second class citizens, instead of being revered. Fascinating!
Damn right! I spent my teens, twenties and thirties trying desperately to blend in and not call attention to myself, and like you, that was pretty hard as a 5'9" redhead! I felt so big and clumsy and the male gaze left me feeling objectified and dirty instead of admired and appreciated.
Now, I dress for MY gaze. I walk tall and proud. And like you said, I don't want the approval of young people- let them have their day in the sun. For me it's all about a hard one confidence. I think aging has given all of us of a certain age a special elegance that was out of reach in our youth.
"Amen" to that, Maribeth! Aging is another word for living, let's also remember that. Big-picture thinking leaves little place for society-enforced insecurities ;)
A very interesting post. I'm not sure if I am getting that feeling yet, though. I suppose everyone's experience is different. Don't get me wrong, I definitely agree with you as far as how society overall sees over-50 women. But personally I still feel totally "visible" when I'm out and about.
I'm with you on not feeling invisible. Yet, I keep on reading about how women over 50 feel invisible, which got me thinking. Maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you keep on reading and hearing you're invisible, you start to feel invisible. I don't, hence my curiosity about that premise.
Bravo! "Women are the backbone of many societies". I'm here in Vietnam and have noticed these open air Cafe looking places -but they're only for men. Sitting around, on their phones drinking coffee and smoking, all times of day and night. They're everywhere. Walk through the neighborhoods and you'll see women doing laundry, playing with kids, sweeping their porches... So I asked about this thing, what I'm now calling the men's club lazy cafes, to some locals and expats. And the response was, Yep. Men sit around and the women do all the work. I'm going to keep asking what the women think about it, maybe it's how it's always been? Witness be great to see a woman barge in the club and pull the man out because he didn't do his chores? 🤣😂🤣
I'm saddened by what you say you see in Vietnam, saddened but not surprised. In most traditional societies, men get to hang out while women are tasked with most if not all domestic chores... Ugh, we have a long way to go.
In some West African cultures, post menopausal women are put on a pedestal and considered to have unique power in the community because of their focus and wisdom, having been removed from responsibilities of raising children and other burdens of early life. "Far from being socially discarded following the end of their reproductive days, postmenopausal women occupied exclusive and significant roles in all spheres of West African life – social, political, religious and ritual."
That's so interesting. In truth, many (if not most) ancient tradition celebrate women. Only more recent monotheist religions pushed it aside and put man at the center of everything. I've always been curious about how the switch came to be (and regret it ever did!).
A lot of it has to do with religion. If you study the original scriptures for the major religions you will see that they are either neutral on women and may give women a special hierarchical position. However, as time went on it was men who started interpreting and documenting the scriptures in their own image giving the male gender an exaggerated position and power in the community. Some era's were more damning than others on the role of women in the family and society. So drip, drip, drip, the marginalizing of women was perpetuated, and for some reason, accepted. I'm not sure how one could consider the human that is responsible for raising the next generation of men and woman and enabling men's success as second class citizens, instead of being revered. Fascinating!
Damn right! I spent my teens, twenties and thirties trying desperately to blend in and not call attention to myself, and like you, that was pretty hard as a 5'9" redhead! I felt so big and clumsy and the male gaze left me feeling objectified and dirty instead of admired and appreciated.
Now, I dress for MY gaze. I walk tall and proud. And like you said, I don't want the approval of young people- let them have their day in the sun. For me it's all about a hard one confidence. I think aging has given all of us of a certain age a special elegance that was out of reach in our youth.
"Amen" to that, Maribeth! Aging is another word for living, let's also remember that. Big-picture thinking leaves little place for society-enforced insecurities ;)
A very interesting post. I'm not sure if I am getting that feeling yet, though. I suppose everyone's experience is different. Don't get me wrong, I definitely agree with you as far as how society overall sees over-50 women. But personally I still feel totally "visible" when I'm out and about.
I'm with you on not feeling invisible. Yet, I keep on reading about how women over 50 feel invisible, which got me thinking. Maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you keep on reading and hearing you're invisible, you start to feel invisible. I don't, hence my curiosity about that premise.
It's true you said you don't feel invisible anymore, or refused to. It's a good approach!